They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
