I could make wine with my vomit
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
