ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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