i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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