im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
