I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
