So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
