i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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