The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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