just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
