So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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