Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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