i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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