I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize