Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
