My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
