My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
