yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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