Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize