oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
