i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
