sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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