so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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