listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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