Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
