wrigley field is MILF paradise
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
