May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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