Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
