she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
