It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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