toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
