it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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