i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
