I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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