may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize