You made me cry and you don't even care
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
