I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Randomize
