the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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