How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
