You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
