those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
