tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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