SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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