Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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