Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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