I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My feet surprised me
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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