It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
