I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
