its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
