yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
