We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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