sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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