I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
