my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
