Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
