I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
