i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
