bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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