why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
im on a boat
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