don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
