i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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