the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
