idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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